I just finished participating in a Forgiveness Retreat held at Rock Ridge Retreat Center. I came with the intention of removing some old "stuff" and hopefully planting the seed of total healing. For the past 6 years I've developed a severe case of eczema, so painful at times I've contemplated the possibility of moving out of my physical body.
As I was sitting in the workshop room, with about 25 other women, a phrase passed into my mind --- "you've swallowed your anger". In that moment I knew this was exactly what I had done, taken an incident and truly held it in, swallowing it up. At that moment, I raised my hand to express these thoughts and a whole lot of anger and rage came up. My dear friend, spiritual mentor, sister spirit, and facilitator of this workshop, offered to role play with me. Without going into any of the details,which are only important to me, I was able to release quite a bit of the energy that I had held inside for all these years.
Last night, we finished the weekend with a firewalk. As we circled the fire seeking our guidance about whether or not it was for each of us to walk, I heard "it is yours to do!" I know, through all my experiences of firewalking, God has my back and supports me in traveling this path (of fire). So, across the coals I went. When I stepped back into the circle an enormous amount of emotional energy went through my body and I started to cry. What I realized was that even though I know God works with me and through me, there is still the seed of an old message of "not being good enough, or worthy enough". You see, my intention in walking this fire was for a deep healing of my body. Hence, the doubt! So I asked again whether or not to cross the fire and again I heard "it is yours to do!" For the second time I crossed the fire with the intention of the fire healing me at depth. Again, as I stepped back into the circle, the emotions sprang up, and so I asked again, "am I complete?" and I heard, "three is the Holy Trinity, complete it!" Three times I crossed the fire asking to be healed at depth. Whether or not it has happened, the seed was planted this night and in deepest gratitude I accept and give thanks for this!!!!
Along this same train of thought, I received information about a commencement speech that was given at the University of Pennsylvania this year. Please check out the talk at this website:
www.dailygood.org/view.php?sid=236 It's one man's reflections on walking a path through India. In peace, I send love!!!
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